Quotable sayings....................

[bowboy]

"I love vegetarians, they're all I eat."

[Brian Krebs]

"if his brains were gasoline; he wouldn't have enough to drive an ants motorcycle halfway around a BB".

[ishiwannabe]

"Dont break your arm patting yourself on the back."  My aunt...she had many many more and she will be missed.

[stringstretcher]

Don't do as I do,  do as I say do.

[Curtiss Cardinal]

When it comes to being married a man has two choices,he can be right or he can be happy.

[Lechwe]

"Stupid people shouldn't breed!"

[Don Armstrong]

This is one my dad would say. Everytime I'd say if I had this or that, he would reply." If a bull frog had wings, he wouldn't have to bump his butt along the ground"

[TheFatboy]

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it."

[Buz-AL]

"Best thing about bowhuntin' turkeys is you always know where to find one tomorrow."

"Surest way to ruin a great day of fishin' is to start keeping 'em."

[straitera]

Beauty is skin deep. Ugly, to the bone.

Could make a freight train take a dirt road.

She hung on him like a cheap suit.

[Curtiss Cardinal]

Inexpensive and cheap ain't the same thing; but you still do get what you pay for.

[Greg Sz.]

"It is better to be tried by 12 then carried by 6"

[snag]

"The bitter taste of poor quality lingers long after the sweet taste of a low price."

[elkken]

be careful what you wish for ... you might just get it !

[Mudd]

"Wish in one hand, spit in the other and see which one fills up 1st!" My mother just setting us kids straight when we went Sears and Roebuck catalog shopping on the couch.

[Butch Speer]

Well butter my a** & call me a biscuit.

It sure beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Some people are like SLINKIES. They're really good for nothing.
But they bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?  

I am in shape. Round's a shape...

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

[TimRadke]

My two favorites- when everything a going perfectand you somehow mess it up - "you sh*t in the milk"

And a friend of mine who is a marathoner and a cop when he is chasing a bad guy - "if you run you'll only go to jail tired!"

[snag]

Butch, you made my wife laugh until she cried! The slinkie one pushed her over the edge...you could say!  lol

[Tom Leemans]

"We can put a man on the moon, but you can't eat moon rocks." - Me

"All the scientists, geologists and anthropologists keep trying to figure out the mystery behind the great pyramids. They're just big piles of square rocks." - Me

I was watching a karate instructor trying to jump up and kick a board in two once, for all the kids at school. The first 2 attempts failed. He finally broke it when he turned the board 90 degrees. This was right after I hollered out "Confucious say, When working with wood, wise man always go with grain."

[Tom Leemans]

This reminds me of the old LW Country Sayin's thread.

"You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can pretty much bring them all around to your way of thinking if you're the one holding the shotgun."