Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana

[bowfiend]

So. It was a beautiful day in the 'Root. That's what we Bitterrooters call the Bitterroot Valley of Western Montana. Of course you wouldn't know it because the wildfires have created a layer of smoke so thick that a drag off a Camel no-filter would seem refreshing. I was fortunate enough to have some free time on Monday, so I hit one of my elk haunts to do some mid August scouting.

It was hot and dry, but I was enjoying my time doing a little stump shooting. Up to this point, I had been stingy with my shots due to a new setup. You see, I am what some people might refer to as fiscally conservative. Other people would say I'm a cheap SOB. But I splurged and went for the fancy arrows. I've always shot XX75's at $50/dozen and never worried about bending them or destroying them. I must say, though, that marketing got the best of me and I set myself up with a dozen Beman MFX Classics. Weight tubes. Wraps and pretty feathers that even matched. They looked great. Then I said, Shoot! I might as well try some new blunts. These arrows were way to fancy for the .38 special blunts that I have en mass in my broadhead box! So I scraped together some cash and bought the G5 Small Game Heads. A fancy blunt for a Fancy Arrow! Needless to say, these arrows are now running about $20 a piece.

So back to the woods. For some reason, I always pick out little saplings and fire away. I guess I feel like the small diameter is a worthy target. I'm now moving through some beautiful open timber and come upon a perfect shooting lane leading to an unsuspecting lodgepole sapling. I put a stealth move on the sapling and let one fly. I watch helplessly as my $20 arrow hooks a paper thin branch and accelerates straight up - where the fancy G5 SGH sticks into the bark of a larger lodgepole.

I literally did not breath. I was sure that whatever amazingly bad karma that caused my $20 arrow to be stuck 60 feet up in a lodgepole pine was going to, in turn, bring the tree down on my head. No. There were bigger things at work here. This was to become a test of just how stupid I am.

I immediately set to work trying to throw things at the arrow to dislodge it. It was beyond the range of my formerly great throwing arm, so I thought really hard about how to get the arrow down. Ding! The light went on and I new I had a winner. I could shoot another arrow into the tree and knock the other one free. Listen, though. I'm smarter than you think. I was only going to draw about 1/3 full to avoid sending my arrow into outer space.

I draw back about 1/3 draw and hold it quivering as I try to aim. I let fly and my second arrow sticks directly in the bark just below the other arrow alsmost as if someone new I was going to be doing this and prepared by putting tar paper around the tree. My mind was blown.

I put my bow down and tried feverishly to shimmy up the tree. This tree has no branches for about 40 feet so I'm really struggling. Bark's coming down into my eyes, the muscles have fully detatched from my scapulas, it's getting hairy. So I slide down, defeated. Defeated yet enraged that I can't even climb a tree. So I pick up my bow, nock an arrow and come to 1/3 draw. As I release I remember thinkng "You are an idiot."

That's right. I now have three arrows stuck in the tree. I tucked my tail between my legs. I accepted that some things are beyond my control. I went home. I walked three miles back to my truck staring at my quiver, which only has one arrow left. And, let me tell you. Nothing is as lonely as a quiver with only one arrow.

 

   


Hope you enjoy my lack of common sense. And the bow is one of Ernie McKenzie's (hornseeker) Sapphire Hawk longbows. Juniper veneers with cocobolo and bacote handle. 59@28. Smooth and sweet.

[sgrogg]

hilarious!   uh,..I mean, that's too bad......

[bunyan]

*sniff*  That was beautiful!

[strick9]

We must be related,, that is off the chart hillarious, if nothing else you made a dude who had a crapper of a day just laugh till it hurt... Kindest Regards

[CheapShot]

Thanks for a good laugh. I know it's not so funny at the time( I've done pretty much the same thing). I now carry a flu flu arrow with a large rubber blunt for just those occasions when I miss a shot at a squirrel. My ramin wood squirrel arrows don't cost $20, but I still want them back whenever possible. Good story.  

[dposalski]

That happens to people that drive around with "13" plates.  

[Izzy]

Whats so dumb bout dat? Id do the same.

[Golden Hawk]

ROTFLMAO!!! I could see myself doing that! Don't kick yourself too hard!

[hormoan]

If not to much trouble please send the GPS coordinates to the tree please. They look like they are spined right for 1 of my bows.   :D        

                  Brent

[bowfiend]

Oh, you'd better believe I marked that on my GPS! The life expectancy of that tree is however long it takes for me to get back in there with a pack saw.

[zilla]

He he, are you lookin fer a set of linemans climbers??   Thanx for sharing

[Nakohe]

ROTFLMAO TILL I CRY  I have never laughed so hard. I know it is not funny to you, but I can see myself doing that and now I learned a lesson. That is a priceless story. Thanks for sharing.

[Bonebuster]

Some days are better than others.

Stupidity would be NOT spending time in the "Root"
losing arrows. At least thats a better way of looking at it. Right?

[tim roberts]

Reminds of of the year I shot at the ISB Jamboree.  Lost 8 Bemans in just a little under 3 hours.  Back then they were only about $10.00 a piece!  

>>>>Tim------->

[dorris]

get you a cimbing stand and get up there after it . thats a very funny story by the way,we all have brain farts every once in awhile .  

[Killdeer]

Well told! Great bit of writing there! Plus I laughed my butt off.    

I shot a bolt into a tree,
It did not come back down to me.
I shot again, now two, now three!
The red squirrels dare to laugh at me.  :mad:  

Silly me, how can this be?
I'll wrap it up in secrecy.
I can't have friends make light of me,
so I will creep home silently.

But craving smiles and giddy glee,
I could not help but share with thee!!
When next I hunt the Bitterroot
I'll be more careful what I shoot!

Killdeer  

[BigRonHuntAlot]

  Been in that situation before...  LOL

[swp]

PRICELESS!

[peak98]

I'd have probably done the same thing.....While reading about what happened to your second shot, I immediately thought "shoot another, it can't happen three times in a row".

[dorris]

Killdeer thats about the funniest thing ive read lately except about shooting the arras upin the tree .