Guess I did see it coming, but hoped it wasn't so. My 14-year-old son hasn't wanted to practice as he should for a couple of years.
This year he started talking about not liking to sit so long in a tree stand, especially when he probably wouldn't see a deer. (He wasn't far off on that last part in our neck of the woods.)
Came time to buy his license, he said he'd rather save the money for a new computer....
I think that, as so many do, he may come back to hunting one day, but for now, he likes instant results, as in computer scenarios. He's not lazy--does well in karate and practices that.. I started taking a class myself.
So, I'll be hunting alone, unless he has a change of heart.
Just needed to say this to folks who understand.
Jim
jim,,,be glad you can even talk to your son on that kind of level. that says a lot of good as far as your fathering goes. keep his fire stoked with stories and such. he may wanna give it a go later on down the line. for now as a teenager he'll be a totally different person,LOL.
That is a bummer...but sounds like you are going with the flow, Jim.
Unfortunately they can't be pushed. My 14 year old is spotty too.............we hunt on the ground and that helps with the 'boredom'.
Share in as many of his interests as you can and he just may want to share in your's again.
Might want to buy him a small game license and take him after some instant gratification just to keep the embers smoldering.
i hit that phase myself when I was thirteen, a new bow and some flu flu arrows with a day of pheasant hunting changed that for me
Don't force it. He'll come back to it in all likelyhood. My youngest (age 22) hadn't picked up his bow since last spring. I thought he had lost interest, but I didn't press the issue. Last weekend he came home from college and wanted to shoot. He flung some arrows for about a half hour, and then said he was taking his bow back to school with him (he lives off campus). He said there was an archery club in Ames, so he was going to join and do some practice.
Sunday he called to tell me he got engaged Saturday night (not a shock as they have been together for over 6 years). The shocker was when he asked for my recommendations on a tree stand!
Keep your own fire burning and your son may decide to join you. I would bet he will.
Don't have an answer for you Jim, but you ain't alone. I'm right where you are, again for the 3rd time
Rusty
Jim, I put my own dad through that when I was a kid. And so did many of my friends. The reason I know this about my friends is because my friends and I have talked about this very subject at hunting camp. Chances are that your son will someday become interested in hunting again if he had the bug when he was young.
If possible, you might try suggesting some spot and stalk hunting rather than a tree stand to see if he bites.
Jim, I hear you pain, brother and I'm right there with ya. I have 4 kids and I'm trying hard to 'ground' them with some family traditions but it is extremely difficult! I refuse to cave.. I will have my way..at the expense of the rest of modern world's way of thinking. <--not an extremist even though I feel like one at times. I have the option of blaming our game commission. Kids won't see squat without private land to hunt. My only problem is my kids are young and still afraid of the only huntable game on my land.
He told you the problem. Sitting in a stand all day.
Let him walk.
Pete
Jim,
I feel your pain. My 16 year old son has had no interest. I have been a hunting maniac from birth so it's hard to accept. Luckily, my 12 year old daughter is archery hunting with me for the first time this year. I have told her to take a book to our stand and read a sentence and look around. Without it she is bored in 2 minutes. The other day we were on stand for 4 hours. I think for a kid it's better for them to just be out than to be bored and lose interest. My son told me the other day he would like to go turkey hunting so maybe there is hope for him yet. Hang in there.
Rob
I know what you mean.....except I'm completly opposite. I started hunting when I was 13 and I've been hooked ever since. I'm 15 now and I still have the strong desire to head to the woods.
Right there with you. Sad when it happens. Got my son a youth season tag and when it came one of our only opportunities to go out and hunt he chose to go and watch a girls volleyball match. Though I lost money on the tag I had to smile. Sometimes when you are a 14 year old guy watching pretty girls play volleyball is a lot more interesting than sitting in a treestand with your ol' man. oh well, he'll be back to the woods in a few years.
I am going thur the same thing with my 13 year old.
My son went thru this at about that age. They have to discover what they as individuals want. It is nothing to worry about. It's hard to sit still at the age of thirteen. Let him discover his way. That's why we have kids so we can allow them to become adults.
My son didn't go through that phase until a couple years later. It didn't last with him and I think it doesn't with most. Now he's a grown man, a careeer US Army soldier with a tour in the Afghanistan under his belt, and wants desperately to come home again for good so he can live the rural hunting lifestyle he was brought up in.
It's a lot different for kids now than it was when I was in HS in the 70's. I successfully juggled school, a part time job, 3 varsity sports, and a steady girlfriend, with only minor cuts into my hunting and outdoors time.
Now it seems school demands so much more time, and a varsity athlete essentially has a full time year round job in one or two sports alone.
Casual dating seems a thing of the past; kids go out once or twice and then they are "going together" which translates into a full time committed relationship.
Hang in there, I bet he'll come around in time...
I hope i never have to go through it, my so is only 11 and can't hunt yet. But i take him to 3D shoots that we camp out together during the summer this has kept his interest up. Do you do those kind of things with your son to keep his interest, not only with archery but with you. It is very hard to compete with the instant gratification of video and computer games. Just sitting in a unproductive tree stand would get to most anyone but the most die hard hunter and then they would only put up with that for so long. Have you thought about taking a trip together to do a different kind of hunting, it doesn't have to be real expensive if you could not afford such a hunt. Last year i took my son to the bunny hunt we had a blast together and till this day he is still talking about it. Try to mix it up a little, there are a lot of distractions in this world for a 14 year old boy that will compete with the time spent with dad, so as parents we need to work hard to capitalize on the time spent with our children. I wouldn't give up on him, 20 years from now he will have forgotten all about that computer but he will never forget the times his dad took him hunting camping and just spent time in the woods with him. Good luck, it will all work out in the end.
Gone/going through it....
22yr old is sometimes interested again and the 16yr old has always been more interested in shotguns and flight arras.
It's all good though. They sometimes throw the 'old guy' a bone and ask to go fishing or some other thing outside.
Long as I can still beat 'em at chess we have something ...LOL
My sons both lost the hunting bug due to college, girls and being 16 or 17. Now they are 27 and 31 and we are going to hunt again this fall! Don't give up - don't ever give up.
Wells
Teenagers, nuff said.
Maybe he just needs to try a different style of hunting if sitting in a tree is becoming too boring. Maybe a different quarry, small game, 3d targets, etc.
Jim, Been through that at exactly the same age. At 14 my son finally told me he really didn't care for hunting. He had seen tons of deer his first two years but never connected. It was a hard pill to swallow but I kept hunting and fortunately, he saw me bring home a couple of nice deer and over the winter thought about it and came back with a vengance but 100% on his own with no further encouragement from me. If he asked I told and eventually he was with me again and now at the age of 29 he's taken 14 deer and two are the biggest buck we've taken between the two of us. He's now taching his son how to hunt and shoot. Life seems to come full circle. However, even if he doesn't come back to it just think about your son and how lucky you are to have one and it kinda puts hunting in the proper place in the whole scheme of life.
As said before don't push, but certainly provide the opportunity for the activity. My dad and family pushed and forced me to hunt, and I gave it up for a few years totally but I came back around.
If it's in his heart he'll come back to it.
Computers for a 14 y.o. boy are like having a teen line on your phone these days, not to mention online "live" gaming. He'll snap out of it eventually.
He's still pretty young...all is not lost. Remember a couple of things (my boys are 19 and 16, so I have been down your trail)
1. Your relationship with your son is more important than hunting. He knows you love to hunt. What does he love? I go to lots of NBA games with my oldest son. I HATE the NBA. We golf a lot. I suck at golf, but it's fun sharing something he's good at. I love hanging out with my son.
2. 14... He needs constant stimulation at that age. I rediscovered small game hunting because of my boys. Chasing rabbits is more fun to a 14 year old than sitting for deer. Compare it to fishing; do you teach a kid to fish with a swarm of bluegills or by cruising the Musky reef for hours on end?
3. I NEVER make hunting something we HAVE to do. I never make it a chore. Things come up in a teenagers life...girlfriends, cars, stereos, the prom...give him some rope. Eventually he will come back around to The Old Man.
My oldest doesn't hunt much. He does it out of a sense of being with me, which is fine. My 16 year old hunts pretty often, but we have succesfully worked it in around football, lacrosse, girls, a job, etc. It's working. Sunday night he killed a nice 6 pointer in Michigans youth hunt. Last night, his girlfriend hung out in the kitchen while we finished butchering his deer. Probably the oddest "date" she ever had.
It works out, but remember point #1...your relationship with your boy is waaaay more important than hunting.
I have experienced the same thing. If not boredom there will be another excuse. I put my kids in stands where they will for sure see deer. They always come back all excited and tell their mother great stories. A switch kicks off and for some reason and they might not want to go. My oldest son (23) works a lot and the middle son (18) is in college now, but they always save the Thanksgiving weekend to hunt with me. Ha! Good times.
We understand. Just don't let it get to you. It is no refection on you, just your kids exercising God's gift of free choice.
Take that kid out with a shotgun and shoot something. Bowhunting is really hard. Sitting in a stand all day long is really hard. Make it easier. It can still be harder than sitting in front of a computer. Oh yeah, buy him the license and put the same amount in the computer fund. No choice, no excuse. Keep them in the field by whatever means possible.
Already there with most of the advice. We have a good relationship and I won't push him to hunt.
He did get shots at deer on two occasions--clean misses.
We have fished, but mostly as a part of camping, which he likes.
He likes to write fantasy, and I advise him in that (I am a newspaper editor).
We also do a little woodworking from time to time and talk often about lots of things. As I said, we both take karate. We have both passed the first belt test, but he started sooner and passed it sooner, so it's a good deal that he can be ahead of me in something. He will make much better progress in that than I will, because he is 44 years younger and much more flexible!
No worry about losing his love, just going through a low spot with hunting.
If he never comes back to hunting, that's OK. I'm pleased with and proud of him.
(My older son got interested in hunting with me before I returned to archery, so he's a gun guy.)
Jim
Jim, I hear ya. Hunting is a vehicle to spend time with your son. Perhaps some day he come back to it. If not, then you may want to get into compute games with him. He is a fine young man. Best you both. jawge
Jim,
Your story mirrors mine to a tee, but my 14 year old is into dirtbikes and riding with his buds more than huntin and fishin with the Ol man. He's a great kid and that is the most important part anyway. I think, like some have said, that his intrest will return as he gets older. Try not to push to hard and I'm sure that your son and the Ol man will be creating memories of the fun days in the woods before you know it.
QuoteOriginally posted by Pete W:
He told you the problem. Sitting in a stand all day.
Let him walk.
Pete
I agree
Jim,
Something my dad did for me along time ago. When I was a teenager and started to loose a little interest in hunting, dad asked if I had a friend who would be interested in hunting. he helped one of my best friends to start hunting, my friends family did not hunt, so he was gung ho to give it a try. Grant you their were probably times dad wished he didn't, he did not have to much time for himself. But the bottom line is he kept my interest. Too this very day my friend still tells me he will never forget my dad for teaching him to hunt. That was a long time ago, dad is gone now, my friend and I still hunt together and dad is with us in our hearts every time we hit the woods. Everything will work out just fine, it sounds like the boy has a good dad.
Good Luck and Good Hunting
John
WOW!!!!! Boy does this bring back memories!!!!!
Jim My Friend, I know EXACTLY what you are going through and how you're feeling!!!!!
It was last year about this time I started a thread "What do you do when you loose them".....
I got ALOT of good advice,condolances and compassion, and ALOT of support from good friends who really care and also know just how I felt. Many of my friends with older sons had been down my road before.....Did it make me feel any better????? Not really.....But it did help me understand that this is a perfectly natural thing,and it made me feel that I was not alone.
Last year, I asked Kevin if he planned on going Deer hunting with me....."If I get a chance" he said.....I told him I would buy his license,and he would have a chance every time I went.(I would tell him I was going,and ask him if he wanted to come along.....of course he was always "busy" though)
Personaly, I think Kevin thinks Deer hunting is "boreing" However.....2 years ago I took him with me to Shawn Leonard's "Bunny Hunt".....We had the time of our lives!!!!!! David Kretchmar (Hunterdfk) took a picture of Kevin and I with our bows and it is one of my most prized posessions!!!!! Last year when Feb. came around he was excited as if Christmas was coming,just waiting for the "Bunny Hunt".....Good Friends,and Food,Lots of Shooting and Fun,and an all out GREAT TIME!!!!! and THAT is just what he likes!!!!!
All I can offer is this My Friend.....Buy his license,and ask him to come along.If he says No.....respect his decision,and go by yourself.
Also Jim, you have your whole life to Deer hunt.....How about inviteing him on a Stump & Squirrel combo hunt.....It just might be "fun" enough to make him want to go again,and if he does,I'm sure you wouldn't trade those Stump & Squirrel hunts with him,for any other "hunt" in the world.
We are always here to listen.....sometimes we even give some good advice.....
Good Luck My Friend.....Please keep us posted.....
May The Great Spirit Guide Your Arrows
At that age image is everything....trying to fit in, girls, school...tons of stuff that take presidence over hunting....Like many have said, just keep your passion going and sharing it with him through stories and pics and once he get's past the point of trying to fit a mold he will be able to be himself and more than likely come back to what his roots are.
Jim,
Your son is fortunate for you have established a solid foundation upon which he can then come back later in time and build upon. At that age there are many distractions but they will also likely become "boring" to him in time. Later, after he has had the opportunity to experience other things he may renew his interest in hunting but for now enjoy your time together with other mutual interests. My father didn't hunt and it wasn't until several years ago that my interest in hunting was sparked by a friend. Encourage him to participate in as many activities as he desires. After he has had an chance to do many different things he will sort out for himself what he really wants to do. You can't force his interest, you can only foster it. As someone stated in a previous post, try small game hunting, hunting from the ground, or maybe even a father/son hunting trip to keep the interest alive in the meantime.
Jim-
My son is 15. He hasn't been bow hunting with me yet. (he did sit in a blind when he was younger)
But, what got the fire going for him was to take him with me to deer camp in WI for gun season. I have been going for almost 15years and he was surprised when he was invited. He shot a small doe within 15 minutes of first light. Although I told him never to expect to be that lucky again, he wants to go bowhunting this fall.
Of course, he has to wait for soccer to be over.
The part of your story that kills me is that he is karate with you. I teach karate and have trained for 30 years, and I can't get him interested at all.
Soon it will be girls and cars. That's where my dad lost me until after college.
Good Luck,
Carl
As long as his other intrest are healthy everything else is ok.There is a lot of bad stuff out there.I remember being preoccupied about that age and it wasn't computers.You know women do make an impact at that age. :D I bet he will go with you some this year when he isn't dating girles.Good luck
Nothing keeps them hooked like success!!!! My son Danny killed this 6 point on Sunday.
(http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n180/RogerNorris/BeckDanny012.jpg)
Just curious..I have a 6 year old, that is over the edge nuts about shooting his bow,BB gun, and .22...I take him on some dove hunts and bow hunts, and it seems like he can't get enough.His whole play routine revolves around hunting. Curious to know if these 13-15 yr. olds were the same way and then other stuff started to come into the scene like girls/computers/etc...? just wondering..if it can happen to me? thx.
Jim, It's possible that your son is at a different place in his hunting life than you are. It sounds like he may be disenchanted by the time spent on stand versus the opportunity to kill a deer. Heck, sometimes I can't sit very long either and I'm nearly 3 times his age. Has he ever killed a deer? Does he have to kill a deer with a bow? Hope it works out for you both.
I might add this. I NEVER lost my desire to be outdoors and hunt, it was my Dad I couldn't get to go out. To busy with business and such. He didn't start hunting with me much till I was in my late 20's, then died a few years later...
Alright im 13 about the same age as your son and heres what i think you should do. I get really excited whe im about to go on a hunt not for deer but rabbits and other small game. Nothing is more thrilling then having lots of rabbits around you and chasing them around with your bow,
Okay, enough of this sensitive, new age mollycoddling. Remember the Great Santini? Get a basketball, bounce it off his head, and tell him to start squirting tears. Continue to bounce the basketball off his head as he walks away. Call him mamma's little darling and other macho taunts.
Then get drunk, stumble through town, and let your son find you crying about your Poppa. Throw up, have your son walk you home, complete your male bonding, and head back to the tree stand.
My oldest boy was of that persuasion as well, he professes to be more of a fisherman than a hunter. He likes turkey hunting since its a bit more active and I hope to introduce him to the joy of waterfowling as well. Perhaps you might try some more active hunting scenarios versus stand hunting for deer. Still hunting, Spot and Stalk perhaps would be more his cup of tea.
The happy part of my story is that my 2nd son is absolutely nuts about any and all aspects of hunting. He love cleaning guns for the sake of cleaning them (thinks Hoppes #9 should be made into a cologne) and shooting arrows for the pure joy of shooting. I dont even think he realizes its practice when he shoots, its just all fun for him no matter what sort of activity so long as its got to do with hunting.
I'm 48 now but I've coon hunted since the age of 9 years old. If I remember right I kinda slacked off hunting when I was around 14. I told my parents I was gett'in burned out on it but really and to be honest I started to notice those girls that I played Kick Ball with all my life was start'in to look pretty dern good. I dont think you have much to worry about, he will be back.
Billy
He is at the age where "Dear" hunting is taking the place of deer hunting... ;)
Let him take a break,all of us guys have probably done the same thing in our past...
I kind of have the opposite problem, my 13 year old has the desire and really wants to spend time in the woods with the old man, but the past 2 years he has broken his wrist and shoulder playing football. It breaks my heart because He is really bummed about not being able to go, and it seems like other interests are slowly creeping in to fill his time. I just hope he stays interested once we get through this stretch of bad luck with injuries.
Burnsie