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Main Boards => PowWow => Topic started by: bowfiend on August 14, 2007, 06:39:00 PM

Title: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: bowfiend on August 14, 2007, 06:39:00 PM
So. It was a beautiful day in the 'Root. That's what we Bitterrooters call the Bitterroot Valley of Western Montana. Of course you wouldn't know it because the wildfires have created a layer of smoke so thick that a drag off a Camel no-filter would seem refreshing. I was fortunate enough to have some free time on Monday, so I hit one of my elk haunts to do some mid August scouting.

It was hot and dry, but I was enjoying my time doing a little stump shooting. Up to this point, I had been stingy with my shots due to a new setup. You see, I am what some people might refer to as fiscally conservative. Other people would say I'm a cheap SOB. But I splurged and went for the fancy arrows. I've always shot XX75's at $50/dozen and never worried about bending them or destroying them. I must say, though, that marketing got the best of me and I set myself up with a dozen Beman MFX Classics. Weight tubes. Wraps and pretty feathers that even matched. They looked great. Then I said, Shoot! I might as well try some new blunts. These arrows were way to fancy for the .38 special blunts that I have en mass in my broadhead box! So I scraped together some cash and bought the G5 Small Game Heads. A fancy blunt for a Fancy Arrow! Needless to say, these arrows are now running about $20 a piece.

So back to the woods. For some reason, I always pick out little saplings and fire away. I guess I feel like the small diameter is a worthy target. I'm now moving through some beautiful open timber and come upon a perfect shooting lane leading to an unsuspecting lodgepole sapling. I put a stealth move on the sapling and let one fly. I watch helplessly as my $20 arrow hooks a paper thin branch and accelerates straight up - where the fancy G5 SGH sticks into the bark of a larger lodgepole.

I literally did not breath. I was sure that whatever amazingly bad karma that caused my $20 arrow to be stuck 60 feet up in a lodgepole pine was going to, in turn, bring the tree down on my head. No. There were bigger things at work here. This was to become a test of just how stupid I am.

I immediately set to work trying to throw things at the arrow to dislodge it. It was beyond the range of my formerly great throwing arm, so I thought really hard about how to get the arrow down. Ding! The light went on and I new I had a winner. I could shoot another arrow into the tree and knock the other one free. Listen, though. I'm smarter than you think. I was only going to draw about 1/3 full to avoid sending my arrow into outer space.

I draw back about 1/3 draw and hold it quivering as I try to aim. I let fly and my second arrow sticks directly in the bark just below the other arrow alsmost as if someone new I was going to be doing this and prepared by putting tar paper around the tree. My mind was blown.

I put my bow down and tried feverishly to shimmy up the tree. This tree has no branches for about 40 feet so I'm really struggling. Bark's coming down into my eyes, the muscles have fully detatched from my scapulas, it's getting hairy. So I slide down, defeated. Defeated yet enraged that I can't even climb a tree. So I pick up my bow, nock an arrow and come to 1/3 draw. As I release I remember thinkng "You are an idiot."

That's right. I now have three arrows stuck in the tree. I tucked my tail between my legs. I accepted that some things are beyond my control. I went home. I walked three miles back to my truck staring at my quiver, which only has one arrow left. And, let me tell you. Nothing is as lonely as a quiver with only one arrow.

  (http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r297/bowfiend/Arrowsintree003.jpg)

   (http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r297/bowfiend/Arrowsintree004.jpg)


Hope you enjoy my lack of common sense. And the bow is one of Ernie McKenzie's (hornseeker) Sapphire Hawk longbows. Juniper veneers with cocobolo and bacote handle. 59@28. Smooth and sweet.
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: sgrogg on August 14, 2007, 06:46:00 PM
hilarious!   uh,..I mean, that's too bad......
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: bunyan on August 14, 2007, 06:46:00 PM
*sniff*  That was beautiful!
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: strick9 on August 14, 2007, 06:47:00 PM
We must be related,, that is off the chart hillarious, if nothing else you made a dude who had a crapper of a day just laugh till it hurt... Kindest Regards
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: CheapShot on August 14, 2007, 06:52:00 PM
Thanks for a good laugh. I know it's not so funny at the time( I've done pretty much the same thing). I now carry a flu flu arrow with a large rubber blunt for just those occasions when I miss a shot at a squirrel. My ramin wood squirrel arrows don't cost $20, but I still want them back whenever possible. Good story.   :archer:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: dposalski on August 14, 2007, 06:53:00 PM
That happens to people that drive around with "13" plates.  :knothead:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Izzy on August 14, 2007, 07:11:00 PM
Whats so dumb bout dat? Id do the same.
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Golden Hawk on August 14, 2007, 07:23:00 PM
ROTFLMAO!!! I could see myself doing that! Don't kick yourself too hard!
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: hormoan on August 14, 2007, 07:27:00 PM
If not to much trouble please send the GPS coordinates to the tree please. They look like they are spined right for 1 of my bows.   :D      :biglaugh:  

                  Brent
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: bowfiend on August 14, 2007, 07:49:00 PM
Oh, you'd better believe I marked that on my GPS! The life expectancy of that tree is however long it takes for me to get back in there with a pack saw.
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: zilla on August 14, 2007, 07:53:00 PM
He he, are you lookin fer a set of linemans climbers??   Thanx for sharing
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Nakohe on August 14, 2007, 07:59:00 PM
ROTFLMAO TILL I CRY  I have never laughed so hard. I know it is not funny to you, but I can see myself doing that and now I learned a lesson. That is a priceless story. Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Bonebuster on August 14, 2007, 08:00:00 PM
Some days are better than others.

Stupidity would be NOT spending time in the "Root"
losing arrows. At least thats a better way of looking at it. Right?
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: tim roberts on August 14, 2007, 08:09:00 PM
Reminds of of the year I shot at the ISB Jamboree.  Lost 8 Bemans in just a little under 3 hours.  Back then they were only about $10.00 a piece!  

>>>>Tim------->
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: dorris on August 14, 2007, 08:17:00 PM
get you a cimbing stand and get up there after it . thats a very funny story by the way,we all have brain farts every once in awhile .   :bigsmyl:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Killdeer on August 14, 2007, 08:19:00 PM
Well told! Great bit of writing there! Plus I laughed my butt off.  :bigsmyl:  

I shot a bolt into a tree,
It did not come back down to me.
I shot again, now two, now three!
The red squirrels dare to laugh at me.  :mad:  

Silly me, how can this be?
I'll wrap it up in secrecy.
I can't have friends make light of me,
so I will creep home silently.

But craving smiles and giddy glee,
I could not help but share with thee!!
When next I hunt the Bitterroot
I'll be more careful what I shoot!

Killdeer  :wavey:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: BigRonHuntAlot on August 14, 2007, 08:22:00 PM
:bigsmyl:   Been in that situation before...  LOL
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: swp on August 14, 2007, 08:33:00 PM
PRICELESS!
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: peak98 on August 14, 2007, 08:36:00 PM
I'd have probably done the same thing.....While reading about what happened to your second shot, I immediately thought "shoot another, it can't happen three times in a row".
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: dorris on August 14, 2007, 08:41:00 PM
Killdeer thats about the funniest thing ive read lately except about shooting the arras upin the tree .   :bigsmyl:    :bigsmyl:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: geno on August 14, 2007, 08:43:00 PM
How does that saying go.   fool me once...well told though..
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: hormoan on August 14, 2007, 08:52:00 PM
KILLDEAR

    Ya get a gold ribbon naturally osage, the story then your poem are priceless  :biglaugh:  Just when I was getting a little bored!  :biglaugh:  

            Hormoanaly Crappy  :jumper:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: DannyBows on August 14, 2007, 09:06:00 PM
Great Story!! Glad to know there are people out there as bad as me about losing arrows.  :clapper:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: the Ferret on August 14, 2007, 09:19:00 PM
LOL what a great tale. Thanks for the laugh and headshake that you can't hear or see (but trust me, it's happening!)   :biglaugh:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: TonyW on August 14, 2007, 09:42:00 PM
Man, I can't believe you gave up so easy. You could've thrown your bow up to knock em off, then your left boot, then your right boot, then ....
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: thp on August 14, 2007, 09:47:00 PM
cheer up bowfiend you aren't alone in losing favorite arrows.  Lost a beautiful homemade one tonight on its first night out!
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: PaPaFrank on August 14, 2007, 09:47:00 PM
What a great story and you told it well!! But I was laughing so hard that I had to stop and go back to the beginning...After that, I'm not so sure you should try to cut that tree down yourself!!   :bigsmyl:  I'm guessing its gonna fall right on those pretty arrows!!
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Whip on August 14, 2007, 10:13:00 PM
That's exactly what I was thinking PaPa!  Same goes for the climbing stand idea - a bad situation just waiting to get worse.  I say three strikes and the tree deserves to win!
Great story!  We all feel for ya' brother!
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: hormoan on August 14, 2007, 10:19:00 PM
OH MY

    I've read it three times at least

And am still having a gut rencher  :clapper:    :biglaugh:    :jumper:  

           OK THATS ALL I HAVE  :jumper:  

                BRENT (AKA HORMOANALLY CRAPPY)  :jumper:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: bowfiend on August 14, 2007, 10:26:00 PM
Oh no. Don't worry guys. I have some ideas for cutting the tree down.
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: dorris on August 14, 2007, 10:28:00 PM
JUST CLIMB IT !!!
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Danny Rowan on August 14, 2007, 10:47:00 PM
I laughed so dang hard I cried. Great story!

Danny
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: hormoan on August 14, 2007, 10:47:00 PM
He has been there done that. dorris  :jumper:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: vermonster13 on August 14, 2007, 10:52:00 PM
Just think of it as storing them there for small game season.    :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Mike Orton on August 14, 2007, 10:57:00 PM
I need the GPS coordinates for that tree....I'd like to have some purdy arrahs too.  :bigsmyl:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Bill Shepard on August 14, 2007, 11:10:00 PM
I think I'd try using an old bowfishing outfit to knock my arrows outta da tree.  At least you could retrieve the same arrow and keep trying. It's also a lot cheaper than a SGH.    :smileystooges:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: hormoan on August 14, 2007, 11:11:00 PM
Sorry Mike, see page ONE been there done that  :jumper:  

              Brent
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: coldpaddler on August 15, 2007, 04:17:00 AM
I think I met that tree back in my Bitterroot days!
Can't wait to hear the tale of cutting down the tree.
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: bbassi on August 15, 2007, 06:35:00 AM
LOL - $5 says the tree falls on the arrows.  :)

Thanks for the laugh!
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: keith brimmer on August 15, 2007, 01:31:00 PM
I FEEL YOUR PAIN !i once cut the inside of my nose with a fillet knife ,now there is a story
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: BamBooBender on August 15, 2007, 01:48:00 PM
well "stupid is as stupid does"!
Nah! Just kiddin ya I'm sure everyone has done similar things. I posted on here once about how I buried an arrow up to the fletch in my neighbors air conditioner.   :knothead:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: chrisg on August 15, 2007, 01:53:00 PM
"Are you married?"
"Am I not a man? And is a man not stupid? Of course I am married, house, wife, children...the full catastrophe"

Zorba the Greek

p.s. I even shoot my arrows into trees!  :goldtooth:  

Been there too, 'shoot another, it'll go 'just' where the first one went and then you'll find both', yeah, riiight!

Sorry for you!
chrisg
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Frank V on August 15, 2007, 03:59:00 PM
Levi, I think Zilla's idea about climbing spikes has merit. Thanks for sharing,we have all shot some we shouldn't have. Frank
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Ray Hammond on August 15, 2007, 04:47:00 PM
been there, done that, got the T shirt.
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: Plumbob on August 15, 2007, 06:39:00 PM
:biglaugh:    :biglaugh:
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: dachba on August 15, 2007, 07:08:00 PM
Very funny stuff.  I'm real good at felling trees to land just where I want them.  Give me the coordinates and I'll go get them for you   :goldtooth:  

Killdear, you are truly talented.  I laughed hard at your poem.

Thanks, y'all, for the light relief.

Dave in Ft. Collins, CO
Title: Re: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana
Post by: pintail_drake2004 on August 15, 2007, 10:34:00 PM
with that kinda luck im not sure id cut the tree down....something bad might actually happen.     :archer: