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Main Boards => PowWow => Topic started by: calgarychef on April 20, 2011, 06:15:00 PM

Title: this might resemble some of you
Post by: calgarychef on April 20, 2011, 06:15:00 PM
Well I did shoot dad's gas can once and yup it was full of gas and yup I got in a mess of doo-doo but it aint nothing like this poor kid even if it is just a joke.


Life as a child growing up in Oklahoma....

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow
beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking
arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a
1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?
Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I
was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in
chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the
place

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large
rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a
shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my
head.

I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would
probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr
old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.

So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black
powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the
can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the
(Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex
and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?


You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other
can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're
cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock
to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow
launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad
getting out of the truck... OH SHOOT! He just got home from work. So help me
God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad
was walking towards me in slow motion with a [beeep] look in his eyes. I turned
back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting
fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and
into the can. Oh shoot.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it
was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back
from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse
of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was
dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could
see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of
grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING
DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That sumbich got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE
YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. [beeep] IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All
windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow
rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda
185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are
drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I
know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head.
I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't
remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and
then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat
this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point
my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I
can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again,
Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything
about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort
of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's
good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: snakebit40 on April 20, 2011, 06:25:00 PM
:clapper:    :biglaugh:    :biglaugh:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: ti-guy on April 20, 2011, 06:31:00 PM
I`m speechless! I did introduced my two kids in archery. Great story,lesson learned...  :)
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: tex-archer on April 20, 2011, 06:32:00 PM
Great story! I won't let my daughters read it though. Lol, they are 10 and 12 years old.

 :clapper:    :clapper:    :clapper:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: KyStickbow on April 20, 2011, 06:34:00 PM
DANG!!!!!!! My son just started shooting. Glad I don't have a muzzleloader.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: BrianfromTulsa on April 20, 2011, 06:35:00 PM
typical day here in sunny Oklahoma.  I don't remember writing that but it does sound vaguely familiar.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: cyred4d on April 20, 2011, 06:43:00 PM
Thanks, I loved that story.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: John Whitaker on April 20, 2011, 06:44:00 PM
Man oh man, that brought tears to my eyes from laughing so hard!! That is some funny stuff!
I had flashbacks of my dad educating me after some of the stupid stuff I did as a kid.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: fmscan on April 20, 2011, 06:47:00 PM
Young boys can do some dumb things, but the stories last a lifetime. However I hope you do not work in a nuclear power plant!
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: MarkE2006 on April 20, 2011, 06:47:00 PM
:biglaugh:    :biglaugh:    :biglaugh:  
Thats got to be the funniest thing I've ever read.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Cyclic-Rivers on April 20, 2011, 06:53:00 PM
oops
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: OP-archer on April 20, 2011, 06:55:00 PM
Man, what a story!!!  I thought I did some crazy stuff in my youth... I bow down - you were the master.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Converml on April 20, 2011, 06:59:00 PM
Ah the memories.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: on April 20, 2011, 07:05:00 PM
DAMN!!!....DAMN!!!
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: landman on April 20, 2011, 07:07:00 PM
Man, I was about two steps behind you.   My passion was cherry bombs covered with glue, rolled in BBs and tossed into swimming pools and creeks, firecrackers and bottles of gasoline and firecrackers taped to the wings of my model planes and boats.    I tore a lot of stuff up and my dad did too.   I swear, sometimes I wonder how I made it past 14.     Great story.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: bendbig on April 20, 2011, 07:08:00 PM
Now that's funny I don't care who ya are. Great memories brought back to life.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: dan d on April 20, 2011, 07:08:00 PM
:clapper:    :biglaugh:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: on April 20, 2011, 07:09:00 PM
Remember when ducks unlimited taught us all how to be terrorists back in the 60s?  Living in a farm community in the 60s with a neighbor that had a diesel powered grinding business, an uncle that sold fertilizer and a friend who's father was the 'official' Ed Montrose (Red Green) of the county, we made some serious holes in the ground. Never did play with the pyrodex.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: johnis on April 20, 2011, 07:10:00 PM
Wow thanks great story brought back some chilhood memories.Just dont let kids read it  :biglaugh:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Green on April 20, 2011, 07:14:00 PM
Friggin' hilarious.....great writing and reminds me of some of the incidents involving pyrotechnics when I was about that age.  Where has all the fun of youth gone?
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: highplains55 on April 20, 2011, 07:16:00 PM
thats some funny stuff right there !
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Bonebuster on April 20, 2011, 07:29:00 PM
O. M. G.

Great shot hitting the can of Ether!

I bet your Guardian Angel got some sort of medal for his heroic efforts that day.

I can see the whole story in my minds eye. You may have lost some hearing that day, but you sure learned how to tell a story!  :campfire:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: DannyBows on April 20, 2011, 07:32:00 PM
Great story! Thanks!   :clapper:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Mike Vines on April 20, 2011, 07:43:00 PM
very entertaining read.  Thank you for that.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: landman on April 20, 2011, 07:47:00 PM
Man, I was about two steps behind you.   My passion was cherry bombs covered with glue, rolled in BBs and tossed into swimming pools and creeks, firecrackers and bottles of gasoline and firecrackers taped to the wings of my model planes and boats.    I tore a lot of stuff up and my dad did too.   I swear, sometimes I wonder how I made it past 14.     Great story.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: tradbower on April 20, 2011, 07:50:00 PM
Just made my day,still laughing.  :biglaugh:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Maxx Black on April 20, 2011, 08:00:00 PM
Thank You for taking the time to post a childhood story. I could see this happening and laughed very hard. Maxx
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: shortstroke 91 on April 20, 2011, 08:05:00 PM
ROFLMAO

Kindred spirits...
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: John Lipinski on April 20, 2011, 08:21:00 PM
QuoteI guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's
good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
HAH! Hahahaha!
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Stoutstuff on April 20, 2011, 08:36:00 PM
Too Funny!!!
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: 7 Lakes on April 20, 2011, 08:44:00 PM
Now that's a good one.  Gotta wonder how most of us made it into our twenties.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: TradDad on April 20, 2011, 08:56:00 PM
Woooooo doggie, I'm still crying from laughing so hard   :laughing:    :laughing:    :laughing:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: copperhead95 on April 20, 2011, 09:17:00 PM
thats hilarious!!! definately dejavu...
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: copperhead95 on April 20, 2011, 09:17:00 PM
thats hilarious!!! definately dejavu...
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: GRS on April 20, 2011, 09:26:00 PM
Funniest thing I've read in years!! Thanks for the laughs!

Gerald
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: RedShaft on April 20, 2011, 09:35:00 PM
thats there was a great story! i will have to get my mom to read that, i was quite the typical country boy growing up too lol.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Cal bow on April 20, 2011, 09:38:00 PM
Great story. I was not much smarter at that age (probably dumber). From jumping freight trains and throwing aresol cans and shotgun shells into the fire on burn days I am suprised my brother and I lived long enough to hope to God none of our kids will be as stupid.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: JohnnyWayne on April 20, 2011, 09:43:00 PM
After 3 days of servers down due to a Micro$oft patch I needed that!    :thumbsup:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: BWD on April 20, 2011, 09:46:00 PM
Thanks, that was great. Got a friend who blew up part of his neighbor's drive way with some black powder one time.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: recurvericky on April 20, 2011, 10:16:00 PM
That is a great story and reminds me of growing up with two brothers that were always in trouble for things like BB gun fight and playing Evil Kenevil
on Honda QA 50's.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Pepper on April 20, 2011, 10:49:00 PM
Gotta love it, funniest story I've read in a while.
I didn't, but there is a real good chance I could have written it. Not fiction either.  :biglaugh:    :biglaugh:    :biglaugh:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Mudd on April 20, 2011, 11:19:00 PM
Great story telling!!

It's a gift for sure. I am amazed that there are enough cells left working to string short sentences together after that one...lol

I won't tell on myself but rest assured that you aren't the "Lone Ranger" when it comes to... "My God! how did I live through that?"...lol

I will say never try to fire shotgun shells with a hammer and nail even if all the shot has been removed..lol unless you don't mind feeling the claws embedded in your back and some permanent hearing loss and yes...lye, aluminum, and water makes for a big bang when mixed together in a sealed container.

Thanks for sharing.

God bless,Mudd
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Thumper Dunker on April 21, 2011, 02:15:00 AM
Good thing i never did any thing like that. Its amazing that I and my brothers are still here.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: americanhunter7 on April 21, 2011, 02:36:00 AM
Ok...So...I'm laughing so hard now that I'm crying!   :biglaugh:  One of the funniest stories I've heard in a spell. Thanks for sharing I really needed the laugh.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: calgarychef on April 21, 2011, 05:18:00 AM
shotguns and a hammer and nail....I had forgotten about doing that one....stings doesn't it?

Guys just for the record I didn't write this I just reposted it off another forum.  But dang it's funny as anything.  Especially for those of us who grew up doing that stuff as we're "been there"

have a good day all
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: buckracks7 on April 21, 2011, 08:06:00 AM
I have black powder, but will need to go buy some ether. I'll be smart, and just use one can of powder. Maybe I should wait until the neighbors are gone too. Should be fun.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Mike Most on April 21, 2011, 08:20:00 AM
It does sound very familiar.....
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: LONGSTYKES on April 21, 2011, 08:31:00 AM
Tracy, Great story. Still laughing. Brings back memories, of burnt off eyebrows and ears ringing. Good stuff Thanks
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: flungonin on April 21, 2011, 08:59:00 AM
absolutely awesome story brings back many a memory. Reading your story I started with a grin, turned to a smile and then full out laughter. I especially took note of how time slowed down,(been there). My day just got better.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: the elf on April 21, 2011, 11:05:00 AM
After reading all this stuff I realise that I was
not alone in my misadventures---but have many brothers and probably a few sisters as well.I am just glad that we all lived to tell the tale and
are now able to contribute hearty belly laughs about our misadventures in our formative years.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: see on April 21, 2011, 11:18:00 AM
Man you can tell a story.You always found the trouble.Ah! It always found you.Thats gotta be the funniest read I have read on here or the internet.You need to publish your heriocs as a young-un.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: graybark uk on April 21, 2011, 04:08:00 PM
:notworthy:    :notworthy:    :notworthy:  we are not worthy   :clapper:    :biglaugh:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Caddo on April 21, 2011, 05:19:00 PM
Just so happens, I got a stump that needs takin care of. Hmmmmmm..........


LD
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: JimL on April 21, 2011, 05:57:00 PM
Great stuff.  Makes me think about a .357 mag shell and an electric stove.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: JEFF B on April 21, 2011, 07:34:00 PM
now thats way to funny  :jumper:    :jumper:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Stickbow on April 21, 2011, 08:44:00 PM
I was much older.......no dad involved.....just a neighbor TWO MILES AWAY calling wondering if we heard the boooom!  lol
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: moththerlode on April 22, 2011, 01:01:00 AM
Oh man , thats a good one LOL
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Fortun81 on April 22, 2011, 01:46:00 AM
oh man! That FUNNY! I got beat like that a few times when I was a kid too! Damn Dukes of Hazard (favorite show EVER). The bear mini-mag... miss that bow.    :archer2:    :nono:
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Burnsie on April 22, 2011, 01:41:00 PM
You sure this all didn't happen in my backyard in NW Wisc. Kinda sounds like something my brother, cousin and I would do.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: Randy Koleno on April 22, 2011, 03:04:00 PM
That story gave me a blackpowder "FLASH" back involving spent CO2 capsules, waterproof wicks and some wax. And also a competition to see who could build the most accurate, hand held, bottle rocket bazooka.
Title: Re: this might resemble some of you
Post by: swamper on April 22, 2011, 06:35:00 PM
great stuff