Trad Gang
Main Boards => The Bowyer's Bench => Topic started by: Archer Dave on April 06, 2015, 02:07:00 PM
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This is not something I have talked about publicly, but I have been suffering greatly the past three weeks since the death of my best friend, only sibling, and older brother.
He was shot in the chest and abdomen, and lost most of his internal organs and suffered in the hospital before dying after a day and a half later. This was the worst thing I have experienced, and wish that the pain would subside.
The main reason I joined this site was because of seeing the work in this forum on bow building. My dream the past few months was to build two of Kenny's R/D Longbows and take them the next time I was to visit my brother. Knowing him he would have asked if I could make one for him, and then I could tell him to take his pick between the two bows and give one to him.
I know this would have been a great joy to him and as much so to me. I have thought this scenario through hundreds of times since this fall, thinking of how happy it would make him and the joy I would feel from being able to do that for him.
The only thing that really held me back was finding a bandsaw. Weekly I looked on Craigslist, but they never came up for sale near me. This kept me from taking the first step in making these bows, but now I see I may just need to find other ways to work.
Now despite being delusional that I might get to just talk to him one last time, it pains me that I did not have this chance to see him again or to give him a bow that I made. I will never get the chance to do it now and that is a hard reality I need to come to grips with.
I do not know why I am sharing this. I guess I need to tell someone. My wife is very supportive, but I feel that you guys would understand this as it is archery related. Plus I am finding that I am growing distant from my wife and two small children. I just feel like I am in a different world then everyone else. I find myself sitting and staring off into the distance feeling lost.
Anyways, I want to build the bows regardless of the fact I can not give it to my brother. In fact I was thinking of making both bows and then I could bury one with him this summer. I know that might sound strange, but I think that might help me heal a little. Kind of like in the old days where knights were buried with this swords.
So I am seeking advice as to making these bows. I was thinking of making a form like the ones Kenny has posted, but I do not have a bandsaw to cut them out. So I am thinking of trying to do the clamp up style with blocks like Roy has shown.
I wish that I had someone to work with on this as I feel a void with the passing of my brother. For instance I went stump shooting yesterday, and I kept feeling a sorrow that I would never get to do this with my brother. He was only 36 years old. I always imagined that we would have at least another 50 years together to walk in the woods or sit on the porch and tell our stories of the stupid things we used to do when we were younger. Now it is just me, and always will be.
Anyways, I do not know what I am looking for or asking really. I just want to build two R/D longbows, one for my brother, and one for myself.
I guess I am just rambling about the desire for something I can no longer attain. Feeling like sharing the fact that I wish I would have been more involved in my brothers life.
So if you have loved ones, take the time to be involved in their life while you have the chance. You never know when you will loose them. In fact just two weeks ago I almost lost my wife in a car accident as well. She is fine now, but thank God she is here with me through these times.
So back to the bows. I want to build two the same, but as simple as possible. I am finding it hard to make myself do simple things right now, but I think that working on these bows might be good for me.
I want to build them with glass, and make them as similar as possible. I do not have much money to spend on them as my wife and I spent nearly $5000 on our trip and other expenses for helping with things.
So I am hoping to be able to build these nicely, but as inexpensively as possible so that I can have them ready for this summer when we bury his ashes up in the mountains in Colorado.
Thanks for listening, and thanks for your advice.
Dave
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Dave my prayers for God's comfort and healing go out for you and family.
Does your brother have any children? You might consider building the bow for them. Whatever you do be sure to take time to fully grieve otherwise you and your family will suffer far longer and your brother wouldn't want that.
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Thanks. Yes he had two little girls, almost 3 and 6 years old. They are not in the best situation either, and wish I could raise them but I do not think their mother would go for that. Yeah, I don't know what else to say about that, other then it breaks my heart.
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If troy or big jim will do the lam's for you I will pay for them. or we could pool some money together?
These guy's on here are awesome I'am sure we all feel for you and you family and could do something to help
Maybe someone lives close to you that has a form?
Time heals, God bless.
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So sorry, Dave...
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Words don't help much,but I want to say I'm so sorry .And I will be in mn in the end of July and can bring a form with for you to use and I can pick it back up in November ,if that is in your time frame.
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Dave, I'll be happy to furnish the lams. I can cut and sand them. I have plenty maple for the cores and bocote, zebra, birdseye maple, hackberry for the veneers. Plenty riser wood also.
But you will have to come up with the form. I build my bows on a form made from Kenny's instructions on his former website. I am sure you can cut it out with a jig saw if you have one and then square it up with a router.
If you decide to go with a trilam I have hickory and osage. Just follow Roy's build alongs and you will do just fine.
Be happy to help. Just send me a pm.
So sorry to hear about your loss. Just remember the good times.
David
David
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Dave, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know your pain,not with a brother, but a son.
I bet I can come up with 4 pieces of glass in either clear or black to go with David's lams.
Or 6 if your wife shoots.
David is right, you can carefully jigsaw close to the profile line and rout it clean.
I also have a few sets of plans so I would send you both 58/60 and 62/64 if you want.
Remember your brother always, but don't forget your wife and children .
Respectfully,
kenny
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Dave - I will pray for peace and comfort for you and your family in this very difficult time. So sorry for your loss. Sounds like some great people are kicking in to help provide for your bow supply needs. Thanks for being courageous and sharing a difficult part of your life.
Cameron
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I read your story several times today and I am still at a loss of words on how to respond, I will pray for you and your family and if there is anything I can do please do not hesitate to ask.
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Very sad to hear about your loss, Dave. I'll bet that most of us have lost someone close and know how hard it is to go through that. My wife died suddenly and unexpectedly 11 years ago. My daughter was 11 at the time. It was tough on me and very, very tough on her. Are there any grief support groups in your area or something through your church if you belong to one? Helps to be able to talk to someone when you're trying to deal with it all.
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Dave,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I had to respond as I too have lost an older brother who was my best friend, hunting partner, fishing partner, etc, on and on. That will be 22 years ago May 13, and I still miss him dearly. I know that your brother wants you to go on. I know he wouldn't want you to put your life on hold. I know this because I had a brother too. If there is something you think will help like building these bows you should do it, and let others help. I finished a knife my brother started out of a file, it is one of my few treasures. I'm not one for public outpours but your story is compelling to me. I'm a stranger but in this I am a friend. If there is anything I can do PM me I will call.
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And the Gang rallies. God bless you all for your generous hearts. I am again reminded of how grateful I am to be a part of this group.
Dave, I send my prayers and condolences. While I won't pretend to know how you are feeling, I have had to endure the loss of close loved ones recently as well. The hurt will never stop, but with time, it at least becomes bearable. You are amongst friends here. Most, I'm sure, will do anything they can to help. Myself included.
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Dave, I am so sorry. I lost a brother 2.5 years ago. Loosing a loved one is tough.
Jawge
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So sorry for your loss dave. I still have parents and siblings and can't begin to imagine what you feel but stories like yours keep me close to my family so I can make the most of the short time we all get to spend together. I hope bow building can help you find peace.
Dave
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My heart and prayers go out to you and your family, Dave. I too have lost brothers, so I know of the pain you are feeling. It is a wonderful idea to build the two bows as a memorial to your brother. You are in the best place here on Tradgang, with guys who are are very helpful and care about their fellow man. God bless you in all you do!
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Im sorry for your loss... stay strong.
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I am feeling your pain this morning. Less than 48 hours ago my youngest daughters boyfriend lost his life when the milk truck he was driving went off the road. They were together for 5 years. I did give him a R/D longbow bow I made, and he asked to go to Colorado with me elk hunting. The only time he had left the state of Wisconsin was when they came to my home in VA Christmas of 2013. Last year he did not have the money so we planned to go in the near future. I now wish I would have covered him this year. He was only 21. He will be going with me this next fall.
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I want to thank everyone for their kind words and kind offers. I am sorry for the slow response, but I have not been on the internet much at all recently. Still trying to adjust to the loss of my brother and have less to say these days. I just wanted to let you guys know I appreciate your responses and offers so you didn't think I just disappeared or did not appreciate it. Thanks, Dave
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I'm so sorry for your loss Dave. I know how you are feeling as I have lost my brother and sister and both parents. I'm not even 30 yet. I know it may seem dark right now,but it will get better. Try and think of all the good times and happy moments. Try and take joy in the time you had together rather then dwelling on what you don't have anymore. And remember the people you love will always be with you in heart and memories.
If you need anything or just want to chat pm me.
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No need to apologize, Dave. We understand.
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Dave I understand your pain having lost my best friend and brother in 2010. He and I were the best of everything. We hunted together, both work for the fire dept and on the same shift so we could be off at the same times, etc. His passing was a great loss to my family and I.
Kirk Lavender was a true brother and friend during those times and his emails helped to focus on something other than the loss. Even know with every bow I build I think of my brother and the times we had. I was still angry and it was more frustration than anything but I blamed God, however thankfully His patience and mercy healed the constant ache and the frustration of it all and I pray the same for you as well, Dave. - shane
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Just saw this thread as I never come here but hang out in the history and collecting forum.
Dave, I believe that the feelings and emotions that you are expressing are typical for a person that has lost a close loved one. I experienced them about twelve years ago when my son died. I was in a fog for months but eventually the pain lessened and my thoughts cleared. Today I am as happy and fulfilled as any man need be.
Building a bow for him will help you to cope and fill your time while you adjust to the new reality. I would suggest not burying it with him but hanging on to it until someday in the future when you will have another special person come into your life. It could be a close hunting buddy or perhaps a grandson or granddaughter. You could give the bow to them along with the special story that goes along with it. Just a thought. Life will get better but first the grieving process must be passed through. Keep your chin up and don't let the loss get the better of you.
May God comfort and bless you in this difficult time.
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Dave ,
I would like to offer up my deepest condolences you story grabbed my soul and shook it it's hard loosing a brother it feels like life just stops and all you want to do is reflect on the time you had with each other it's so unreal but at the same time you know there gone I only say this Dave Bc my younger brother was murdered last June by two gunmen who tried to mugg him and his wife they first shot her in the leg and while Jp was helping her they shot my best friend in this whole world in the back "cowards" I can't say that the pain will ever go away I know mine hasn't but it has gotten mangable I feel your pain brother so if you need anybody to talk to pm me it might do us both some good may God bless you and your family stay strong my friend
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Prayers to you and your family, Dave. I have four younger brothers, it would be rough losing even one. Stay strong, brother.
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Praying for you and your family.