(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/LittleWoodie.jpg)
Hi Tradgangers...it's me, "Little Woodie". You might think it a bit strange, me a lowly broadhead writing this tale, but realize I AM the end of the arrow that counts! Every thing else is just the delivery system.
And I have traveled a bit in search of finding meaning to my life, New Zealand, many of the Western States to my final resting place on a cold and windy hillside in Colorado.
And before you look down at your shaft at me, you bow hunters aren't such hot stuff. I have been around enough to see you at your very worse, lying through your teeth at any campfire where there is more than one of you. And if Too Short is any example you perform despicable mating habits with the "innocents". But, perhaps that comes from being on a Montana ranch for far too long listening to the wind telling him he is in love. But we will get to that bit of perversion in its own good time.
Like all good stories, it's best to start at the beginning... I can remember through the mist of time two really funny guys laughing and claiming they had whupped anorexia at her own game. Sure looked like it to me, I can tell you for certain that the old girl just never stood a chance.
Next thing I knew Terry Green was taking me out of the package and massaging me all over. Before too long my edges became razor sharp, then through a secret method known only to Terry, and shared with Bob, my edges became so sharp they would cut your eyeballs by just looking at me.
Then Terry painted all these little lines all over me; for why, I know not. He got pretty excited (well all you guys know that!) and he shipped me off to Bob's house in Oregon so he could look me over. I felt so dirty with him ogling my every crack, crevice and edge...the shame of it.
(Now, remember these were in the days before Trad Gang was even a thought in Terry's mind and Bob and Terry were exchanging "trade secrets" in sharpening good three blade heads).
Bob then sent one of his WW to Terry for his inspection and I have often wondered what happened to my cousin?
Then, I did some thing really bad and Bob tossed me in a box with a bunch of other broad heads... some had been hunting and had wonderful tales of chasing magnificent elk and those ever so sneaky blacktail deer...but I was consigned to darkness for most of my life. Every time he would open the box I would shout "Take me, take me" but it was not to be.
Years went by and then one night, oh that glorious night, Bob opened the box and said, "Little Woodie we are going to New Zealand but first you and your brothers need to undergo the ritual of "circumcisionpoint". Over a good glass of Merlot, and the idiot jig my little pointy thingy went away. While painful, I know I am a better broadhead because of my operation.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/tradgang1-1.jpg)
So, tomorrow we start with New Zealand and Too Short's "love" interest...such perversion you never did see.
:thumbsup: Thanks for sharing your history.
It might be "little woodie" but it sure looks like it's screwed on a fiberglass shaft! I have a few of those left also.
Now this is going to be good :0)
Too Funny!!!!
The white slashes means there's a 'short' adapter in it!!!...No kiddin!!! :biglaugh:
Wow! Such a heart warming story. The nerve of some people keeping a woodie locked up in a box for so long! ...
... mike ... :rolleyes: ...
Go get um!!
Gil
(Little Woodie Notes...Bob has always wanted to go to New Zealand, so he went. He just needed to go after some not fun life changing events.
The plan was the "no plan plan". Just open yourself to what ever comes your direction Kinda crazy and not everyone thinks that way or is comfortable in such a hap hazard approach. After some research on the internet, he decided on the South Island, bought the ticket and let the winds do as they will.)
New Zealand.
Little Woodie here behind the keyboard. I was cramed into a suitcase with the expendable bow and the strangest "arrows" I ever did see. Had little curley cue eye type things on them and were awfully short. Later I found out that these made up into a fly rod and I grew to hate them.
We landed in Christchurch and knocked around the city for several days, trying to get a feel for the Kiwis, the country and driving on the wrong side of the road. Bob went fly fishing and then decided to explore the island.
He knew that Too Short may be in NZ and decided to give him a call. Paul and Bob had never met and other than some emails about Helle knives they didn't know each other. Low and behold Paul answered the phone and they were only about 3 hours apart! Karen, Paul's wife, extended a dinner invitation to Bob that very night...what a classy lady...what she is doing with Too Short? The Kiwis love her so much they named a lake after her. She opened her home and heart to Bob.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/Karenssign.jpg)
But all this was just the calm before the storm and Pauls Dark Side came out. He made the local paper.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Christchurch
New Zealand
South Island
Byline by Kiwi Canthit
News Flash !!
Traditional "icon" Paul B Brunner, aka, Too Short, Too F. Short was caught, on film "rescuing sheep" on an unnamed river near Christchurch last month. This reporter's secret, but highly reliable, confidential and impeccable source ( Little Woodie, owned by Bob McMahan, formerly of Helle Knives and Trad Gang member #6) related the following story to me after several rounds of ales at my local tavern. It was only his strong sense of duty that allowed this tale to come out into the public eye. Because of the scandalous nature of these hideous happenings we have had to tone down the language so as to not offend any of our Trad Gang community.
"I was scouting out this new area looking for game, when off in the distance I heard this terrible commotion of screaming sheep and a high pitched yell. I couldn't be sure but it sounded something like "Git along little doggie" with a decidedly cowboy accent. After positioning myself where I could get a good look, I rubbed my eyes not once, but twice. Coming across the paddock were a dozen or so sheep on a dead run as if the demons of hell were hot on their hoofs...and pulling up the rear (a'hem) was this very short guy in a funny hat. The photo of this six inch brown trout shows how tall this little fellow really is.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/Paulsfish.jpg)
This guy ran the poor sheep into the river and jumped in after them and drove them to the far steep bank.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/sheepclose.jpg)
He grabbed a young one and "helped" her climb the slippery bank. When asked what he was doing, Too Short mumbled something about this is the way we do it in Montana but there we use hip boots."
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/scores.jpg)
This reporter rounded up some of his mates and rousted the scoundrel out of town on a rail!
Report by:
Kiwi Canthit.
Unfortunately the fishing was so good that I didn't get out of the bow case very much. We did see lots of these...but that's not what I came for...high fence.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/reddeet.jpg)
Bob said that "sight fishing" big browns had all the elements of spot and stalk hunting.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/bobsfish.jpg)
One exploratory hunting trip found us stuck while attemting to ford a river.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/stuck.jpg)
Too Short finally got out of jail and went fishing again.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/Paulandmountains.jpg)
Bob's Notes: Paul and Karen are just stand up folks! They didn't know me from Adam, but showed me around, helped me out, took me fishing and out for dinner. Just great folks ! !.
I am planning another trip to NZ and am looking for a traveling friend. We need at least 4 weeks and 6 is a lot better. Probably Feb and part of March.
Next Woodie adventure...Eastern Oregon and a 7 x 6 elk.
Baa-aa-aaa-aaaa-aaaaa!
Too Short!
Boo-ooo-ooo-oob...I think I can fix you up with a traveling companion. One of those ladies I found was REALLY cute and she is now "unattached", or so I have heard!
Rache ist ein gericht das du kalt essen must! If any of you speak/read German, you can tell Bob what this means!
Byyy-byyy-byyy-byy!
Too Short
good gawd that's a awesome brown!!! my favorite trout to catch....
Quote The photo of this six inch brown trout shows how tall this little fellow really is.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/Paulsfish.jpg)
I haven't met either of you, just followed your adventures here on TG, but I really have to thank you for that one!! That was the best laugh I had all week!! :biglaugh:
He meant POUNDS, not inches! That was, indeed, a six pounder. Only a flawlessly presented # 16, hand tied by a short fly tier, would take a trout like that.
If Bob hadn't been with me, I would have lifted the fly off the water when I saw the fish coming. I normally don't bother with them unless they are over 10 pounds.
I'll be baa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-ack!
Too Short
Waay too funny!!!! :biglaugh:
Little Woodie here and we are getting ready for elk season! He is hiking most every day with a pack and shooting broadheads.
Bob and friends (thanks Keenan!) made up a running target and it's a great training aid for moving shots.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/runninglope.jpg)
They had so much fun they took it to the Western States Rendezvous where it was a big hit...40 +- arrows on one pull and two flats!
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/Westershoots.jpg)
A new spot and a new hunting partner this year so we don't really know what to expect. In our travels we found a few of these.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/bighornsheep.jpg)
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/antelope.jpg)
About the third day, Stan took this nice bull. It's a whole lot steeper than the photo shows! That Coleman Northstar lantern sure works great and makes for better tracking at night.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/stanelk.jpg)
Great shot placement and this bull really dug a furrow when he crashed.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/standkid.jpg)
Then he got up and stumbled another couple of feet, just enough to go over the edge and then straight down for a good 70 yards. So, instead of a drive up and load him in the truck, it was a short pack and grunt. Cleaning and quartering chores done as soon as possible really pays off in quality meat, so if you shoot one right before dark be prepared! Experience has shown that even if it is below freezing, hang and quarter that bull right away; leaving them lay over night does not work.
Early morning has it's own rewards.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/earlymorning.jpg)
As does moon rise at sunset. The reddish haze is from all the fires in the area.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/moonrise.jpg)
Early one morning my chance finally came. From a treestand we saw a smallish 7 x 6 bull come into the clearing and as Bob drew me back the bull skittered away about 5 yards and was on full alert. What the heck was that all about?
He settled down and Bob drew me back again only to have the bull blow out of there in a dust cloud. Did I ever tell you how really stoooooopid Bob can be... back at camp he ripped off the Velcro arrow rest and replaced it with a scrap of leather. Lesson learned, what an idiot!
We did get a trail cam photo of part of the bull.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/7ptelk.jpg)
This impressive hunter can teach us all a thing or two.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/mantis.jpg)
Two weeks here and little to show for our efforts. Time to meet Bob's brother in Colorado for their annual get together and elk hunt.
Tomorrow...my demise on a cold and windy Colorado hillside.
very very neat story. You sure do have a vivid imagination.
Thank you VERY much Little Woodie! You saved my day - and it was badly needed! :notworthy: :D
Please go ahead and let me and others follow your adventures!
BTW, I would certainly be able to explain what the Short Guy had to say, hidden in German somewhere up the text - if anybody really needs to know ...
Falk, I'd be afraid to ask.......great story Little Woodie, keep looking forward to more.......careful about what you call your keeper though, you may end up back in the dark deep recesses of that tackle box again! :D :scared:
David
Now that's entertainment right there. I don't care who ya are.
Thank goodness for Babel Fish...though you still need to translate the translation! I love the pregnant mantis pic! A most enjoyable thread all around!
Killdeer :bigsmyl:
Keep it comming!
Yeah yeah, keep it coming!!
Just spent five days with Jim Hamm, hunting. He's way funnier than Bob. He made NO sheep jokes, either!
Too Short
That Mantis is Awesome. One of the most amayzing insects ever. Ive been looking for a perfect picture of one for a tattoo. That is almost perfect. Thank you for sharing
Oh boy, this is it! Leaving for the high country. I am in the front seat taking in all the desert scenery. He didn't want me to miss any sights like this he photographed last year.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/second.jpg)
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/third.jpg)
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/last.jpg)
It's a 19 hour drive, leaving Bend, then Burns, then Boise. Its great to reach Idaho...75MPH, instead of that slow, slow 55 than Orygun insist is so safe.
Yo Bob!...remember to buy your elk tag in Rangley before you head to camp. But he won't, he is so stoooooopid, have I told you that? Being fixated on shooting a big mule deer at the expense of passing up a nice bull.
But he won't gracefully accept the fact that we can no longer hunt the "good" side of the road...darn oil companies with their profits in the gazillions each quarter...afraid, so they say, some one is going to get hurt and then sue them. After all these years, what BS.
There are some nice bucks on this side of the road but it's a much harder situation for spot and stalk. But he is so stubborn , no elk hunting until a buck is hanging in camp. Guess what, last time he did this he went into town mid-week and bought an elk tag. HAH! Like lots of things, it is always a bit different when you are sitting on the sofa instead of actually doing it!
At last, cow camp! Brother Bill and Gary are there ahead of us, they had been "on top" and things are so different. Since last year the oil companies had put in three more platforms and improved the dirt road so much they put in a Slow Down sign ! Incredible! Who would have ever thought of such craziness!
I know the elk will eventually accept all the changes but I am not sure about Bob. This place has been his refuge for...30 years, boy he is getting older. Jim and Bev, the owners have had no choice to accept all the changes, but it's taken a bit from them as well. Life changes, so suck it up and make it work.
We have been hunting for three days, lots of elk but numb-nuts is mostly ignoring them. Up early and glass the big pockets. The bucks we find just bed down in the scrub oak or service brush....impossible to stalk. If you can't see them when they stand up then what's the point?
Gary went into town today so Bob agreed to call for Bill. Every year they have to go in the Double Gate pocket which always holds elk and better than average bulls. Lots of excitement but never any shooting...just too thick. Seems to be impossible to entice a bull to come out of that cover, but the idiots try anyway.
At the bottom of the pocket, Bill decides to hunt up to the next pocket and Bob goes back to the truck and drives up to meet him. Bob sees a dandy track next to the fence line and decides to try his trail cam there.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/hoofknife.jpg)
He sees his brother crest the top of the pocket and knows he too will follow the fence line down.
REVENGE is planned and years of being the younger tormented sibling are about to equalized. Bob slips on his gillie suit, grabs his camo seat and sits in front of a bush on the truck side of the fence. Bill follows the fence line trail, sees the camera, poses for his photo with the famous three fingered salute...what smart ass can pass up a photo opp like that. Hey ! this gillie suit really works!! Here we are out in the open with only the brush in back of us and we are invisible. Bill, now less than 15 feet ways, tosses his bow over the barbwire fence, presses both hands down over the top strand, slowly lifts his leg, and straddles the fence. He got to see us...nope, no such luck for him. Oh boy we got him now! Bob tenses but realizes that he could cripple his prey so far beyond repair that Vigara would be useless.
Bill gingerly finishes his straddle, picks up his bow...Bob leaps, Bill screams like a girl minus about 5 years of his life, and beats feet towards the truck. Bob notes that as the Kligons say, "revenge is best served cold". But hey, that gillie suit really works...at least on that old fart! Howsabout on deer at the small water tank?
Early that afternoon we are sitting with our back up against a quakie aspen putting the gillie suit to the ultimate test.
First these guys wander in...
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/spikeelk1.jpg)
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/spikeelk2.jpg)
And then this silly one with the funny ears and the pointing down brow tine...
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/earelk.jpg)
]
A bunch of these...
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/yearlingelk.jpg)
Judging from all the racket, the guy who really runs the show ought to be showing up pretty soon.
He sounds really HUGE!
Adam,
How is this one?
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/mantis-1.jpg)
Sorry...a few computer problems...its coming.
Bob
This is fabulous. Carry on! :notworthy:
We see a mess of cows first then hear him "glunking"...bingo...there he is...hooking cows on his way down. Elk love is sure not Disneyland. There are maybe a dozen cows now scattered around the tank and on our side of the hill. Amazingly enough, not one has drifted down enough to pick up Bob's scent stream. All those eyes and no one sees us! They don't even look through us...we were, simply enough, not there.
He's not as big as he sounds, but plenty good enough for us. The bull waters and then he's 25 yards broadside....come on Bob, turn me loose! Then he's 20 yards gently quartering away...he is focused on a cow. Now's my chance! Do it! Draw the bow you idiot...then the terrible truth smacked me like an 1200 grain Martha Stewart taking out a squearll...the tightwad didn't buy an elk tag. Mighta interfered with his buck hunting. I shoulda never, ever left sweet, sweet Gawgia....thanks Terry!
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/bigelk.jpg)
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/bullfacingaway1.jpg)
We stayed past the last scintilla of light hoping for a deer...any deer to show up but it was an elk day from start to finish.
It was a long slug out of the draw and that cheap SOB was sure dragging his butt by the time we got back to the truck. Oh boy, I couldn't wait to see what kind of lies he would have to tell the boys back at the cabin.
I noticed they have a bit of a strange ceremony, no real talking until everyone has settled down a bit. Bob put an extra touch or three of Jose Curveo in his glass and then it started..."whatcha see". While out and out lying is not permitted its up to the questioner to ask the right questions, vague questions breed similar responses. Bill, perhaps still recovering from his shell shock was pretty quite and Gary is just too young to pin down the old geezer. No true confessions tonight but this isn't Las Vegas and the truth always, sooner or later, comes out at cow camp.
Six o'clock the next morning finds the Tundra eating up the pavement on the way to Rifle and we are back at the tank by 10:00, elk tag in hand. Its very quiet, nature seems stiff and awkward and once again we grunt our way back to the truck in the dark...no deer and no elk. What happened?
True and pittifull confessions tonight...it was worse than a Jerry Springer show. Bob hung his head in shame and told the guys all the doins at the tank. To really pile it on he showed them the pictures of the bull. Bill pointed out that he had seen a truck parked above the water tank probably about the time we hit the pavement on the way to town. What a miserable excuse for a hunter!
To break the gloom he pulled me out of the quiver, stropped my edges and spruced up my feathers. At least we can get serious now about the elk hunting.
Once again we are starting to run out of time...the hunting is taking on a sense of urgency that always happens when you start to calculate the timeline. The tempo increases. Good thing the elk are talking, we can find them but shot opportunities are just not blending together.
Bob is not really a tree stand kind of guy. He has tried them but he has little patience and he considers three hours on a stand pretty close to a life sentence. Earlier in the week he put a stand on the edge of a bowl as he had seen two bucks bedded there.
We climb into the stand and immediately see two does. Hey this might work! Down below three bulls are bugling at each other. Bob tries to ignore them but is unsuccessful; he gives off a few plaintive cow calls. He will go after them in the morning when the wind is steady.
Forty minutes later here comes a little forked horn buck. The bulls have moved away but are still in "hearing distance". This time he throws in a few whiney "I am in estrous, big boys".
Half hour later, here comes a shooter buck running at a good pace. No shot. Don't know what that's all about. Twenty minutes till dark, windy but not too cold, spittin some rain and dark clouds coming fast in our direction. Bulls have circled back around and they are in the same spot as when we arrived. A few more here I am Big Boys calls. Time to pick up Bill.
Hey wait! There is a nice six point bull down about 200 yards, that just stepped out of the quakies and is looking uphill at us. Customer? A few more calls and he is sauntering up in our direction. Fifteen minutes till dark...if he makes it up here, will he get here before its too dark?
He's in no hurry, a few more BB calls over the shoulder speeds him up. He's coming! Hangs up at 35 yards, looking things over...wondering where those cows are...now he is paralleling the hillside, Bob squeaks out a soft cow call, he turns, UP he comes! Now he is on the trail, feeding right under us...chomp, chomp, coulda jumped on his back. Another couple of yards down the trail and it will be a 10-12 yards shot, oh no, the wind starts to falter, Bob gives him a mouse squeak, he stops mostly broadside and I am OFF! Glory be ! Right lung, left lung, out the other side. I hang on as he plunges violently downhill, but no use, he busts the shaft and I am thrown into the brush.
Each leap takes him ten or fifteen yards down the hill but I can see him developing the hospital wobble, and I hear him crash to his final resting place.
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/bobselk.jpg)
(//%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3EHere's%20Bill%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Cbr%20/%3E%20%5Bimg%5Dhttp://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/BobMcMahan/biilandelk.jpg)
Its dark now, the brothers have walked over me on their way down to the bull. They found him without any trouble, quartered and hung him in the trees, they will take him out in the morning. Its coal black and raining pretty good now; they will find me in the morning.
It rained hard last night and all this morning. Thanks to Jim and his son, Neal and their four wheelers it was a quick but potentially dangerous drive up the hillside to the truck.
Bob looked for me for quite a while only finding the fletching end. For some reason he can't hear me calling out to him. He promised he would take me blacktail hunting with Faith, the Tradgangers St. Jude auction bow for 2008.
The weather is clearing up and its going to be cold tonight.
Bob came back the next morning and looked for me again. But now he is searching too far down the hill. I think I am staying here for quite some time.
I wonder if in the future another bow hunter will find me and think about how I got here and what my owner was like....I know that Bob does that and he has a special place in his heart for everyone of us he finds.
It's snowing now...
Let me know if you enjoyed it.
Perhaps one for blacktails?
Killy, good observation on the PM. "Gravid with possibilities" comes to me from a college professor.
Bob
Enjoy It? That was a great way to tell a story Bob, it's too bad "Little Woodie" won't be with you anymore after doing such a fine job, even if he did whine a little bit at times...... :bigsmyl:
David
One of the best I have read on this site. Very nice! and Congrats on a fine bull!! Thanks! :thumbsup:
Little Woodie, I would take good care of you and also direct some thoughts to your former - unknown to me "launch assistent" - if I should ever step on you or some out of your fellowship! That's just a question of honor - so there actually is NO real question at all, right?! :readit:
Thanks for your great telling the story and I wish you some nice and fluffy leaves ontop - so you don't have to chiver to much during the cold ... :campfire: Falk
Great adventure and very well told! Thanks!
brilliant
Great way to tell a story, enjoyed every bit of it. Congrats on a fine bull.
What a story!
For all you elk lovin' hunters,...... If you haven't read this, you're missin' out!
Great read, and congrats!
Todd
Awesome, Thanks!
I never did get to read the last post, which had me a little weepy for the long, lonely chill that would claim the bones of our valient hero. I had to go to the mountains and hunt for a few weeks.
That is a story wonderfully told,and the pictures are outstanding. Thank you so much for the telling, and thanks, Todd, for reviving it. gave a bit of flavor to this morning's coffee. Hunting season is just around the corner, right?
Killdeer :archer: :coffee:
great thread & awesome pic's.....Thanx..
Most excellent! I missed page two back when this was up. A great story. Thanks for bringing it back.
One of the best stories I've read here in a while. Very, very entertaining. Poor woodie lost out in Elk country.
Somehow I also missed 'the rest of the story'.
Thanks for sharing. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: