How About the Funniest Shot?

[CT Bowhunter]

Mine was on a canned hunt, okay I did it because we took some clients out and I'd only been shooting a bow for about a year and someone else was paying!

We were walking thru the woods looking for some russian boars. I had the video camera going when we came across this sheep with huge curly horns sticking about 2 feet from the side of his head. Needless to say this novice bowhunter got excited. I decided to stalk it, so I handed the camera to a friend and started the stalk with the guide. The sheep stopped, offering a good quartering away shot. I asked the guide about the distance and he said about 30 yards. Now never having seen a sheep like this before everyone was amazed at the size of his B#$%s. Well I set, achored, and shot. Being a little nervous I shot a little low and left, sheep was more like 40 yards, great guide! My arrow went right under his b##$s and the flecthing just touched them. The sheep jumped up and turned around to look at us, with a what the heck was that look. All I could hear was everyone watching from afar laughing. After another stalk I was able to make a good shot! All of this was on video. When we went home and watched the video, my two young sons said, "Daddy why did you try and shoot off his wienke?" That was over 10 years ago and my kids are still giving me a hard time about it!

[Canyon]

Without all the details but my funniest shot involved heavy snowfall,indoor practice and a frigidaire.  :confused:  I guess the shot wasn't that funny but the look on my wifes face  :eek:  sure was.

[Jason R. Wesbrock]

No shot on this one...but not one of my finer moments afield.

Last fall I was hunting in WI from my favorite treestand. It's 14' up a cherry tree at the intersection of a few fire trails with several shagbark hickorys nearby. Needless to say, the squirrel activity there is intense.

Usually they just run around and give me some cheap entertainment. At least once or twice a year I'll have one decide he wants to get in the treestand with me. They never quite make it that far though before they run off barking up a storm.

Anyway, I was sitting there, minding my own business, when a squirrel started up the trunk. He got a few feet from my stand, stopped, and beat a hasty retreat. Over to the next tree he goes, straight up the trunk, out of a limb, and them he jumps into my tree several feet over my head.

Now I'm thinking we're in for some hand to hand combat here. This little gray dude's eyeballing me like I'm in his nest or something, and he's obviously not scared. Down he comes, on a string and straight for me. I'm getting nervous. He looks mad, bad, and probably got the Cooties too. He had a face like this...  :mad:  

Knowing that I couldn't manage a straight-up shot from my stand, even in self-defense, I braced for the impending attack. Who would take care of my family? Would my daughter carry fond memories of her father, who was killed in a squirrel attack when she was only 5 years old? Maybe I should have bought that life insurance instead of cussing out the telemarketer? And who was going to clean up this mess anyway?

A few feet above my head he stopped, turned, and pointed his little butt at me. "Alright, he's leaving now. Just a bluff charge...COWARD! All he's going to do is moon me...a little 'squirrel cheek', if you will."

Just then I see this fine mist falling on my head. That little rotten thing emptied his bladder right on my head. He even got a drop in my right eye! No sooner had I figured what was happening then he finished his business and ran away unscathed.

And so it came to be that I thwarted certain death by the mightly Wisconsin gray squirrel by doing my best immitation of a 6'4" camo urinal cake.  

[Rick McGowan]

I was working in Chattanooga, TN for a couple years and there was a leveled off area near to my appartment, where I would go and shoot judos at clumps of mud, old shoes etc. One evening a half dozen rugrats about 6-7 years old show up and I thought oh great, I better pack up before calls the police saying that I am endangering children, but beofre I can put my stuff away, I have to answer several dozen questions and let each one try to pull my bow. Then one of them picks up an empty soda can runs out somewhere past 50 yards sets it up on a dirt pile and says shoot it! Well I tried to turn that offer down, but they weren't having it, so finally I just threw the bow up and was going to launch an arrow in the general direction, but as I started to draw, I thought, what the heck, I'll see how close I can come. That judo tipped arrow hit the can DEAD CENTER and ripped it completely in half. One of the rugrats exclaimed,"THIS GUY IS GOOD!" I bit my lip to keep from laughing and quickly put the bow away, before any of them could say "do it again". RicMic  :p

[Steve H.]

Alright I have one.  I was hunting pigs in TX back around March '97 and we spotted a group of five little "crockpot pigs" as in the kind that the whole thing will fit in a crockpot when dressed.  There were two brown ones and three black ones.  I belly crawl in the grass behind a stock pond and zero in on a purty little brown one.  

I pull up and shoot and pigs run everywhere including a black one with my arrow in his side.  Turns out I shot over the brown one and skewered a black on in the background.  Actually, turns out that that was the first critter killed in North America with a 190 grain Ribtek.

I have another one involving a coyote but I dunno if I want to admit to it!

[Rick Boyer]

heres one.. Was hog hunting at my favorite pond. spoted 2 hogs 65 70 yrds away. started the stalk go within 20 yrds of them at this time I could see there where at least 12 to 15 of them so I picked a good eating size one around 65 lbs and let her fly complete pass thru hogs went crazy runing all over the place nocked a secound arrow piced a secound hog heart shot droped right there at this point im thinking Im the man.. well come to find out it was the same hog I stuck the first time    . cant believe I just admitted this..

   gator

[Pat B]

One of our club members was in a tree hoping for his first bow kill, when a spike walked in. John readied himself and took a shot. The arrow went low, struct a branch, ricochet(sp)AND TRAVELED TO PARTS UNKNOWN and the spike ran off. A few minits later he heard something comming. It was the spike he thought he had missed, dragging his gutson the ground and layed down under John's tree and died.
   Pat

[bohuntr]

About 5 or 6 years ago a buddy and I were hunting elk near Lynx Pass in Co. It was the first part of the season and it had been extremely hot and dry (temps in high 80's). We had been hunting several days without seeing elk and without seeing any fresh sign. I was checking out an area we had not hunted yet when I ran into alot of very fresh sign. I found a bunch of elk droppings that were stll really moist and found a series of fresh rubs still dripping sap. These trees were rubbed as high as my head (I'm 6'05").Needless to say I was getting excited. I moved quitely ahead until I found a good spot to setup and start calling. Just as I was going to start cow calling a squirel in a nearby tree spotted me and started the loudest alarm call I have ever heard from such a little critter. I was upset by this turn of events and in frustration drew back on the ngsob not intending to actually shoot. Well you all know how it is sometimes when you hit full draw and you aquire the target. The bow just "went off". Anyway I dead centered the litlle varmint with my 125 gr Muzzy. I went over to the tree to remove the arrow and discovered that there was a deceptive break in the terrain. The spot in the tree where the arrow and the deceased were lodged was a good 10ft above my head. No branches to climb so left the remains as a warning to any other small woodland creatures who might have the idea of aiding and abetting the elk. If you end up hunting near Lnyx Pass keep your eyes open for the skeletal remains of that ngsob.  Dan

[Jerry Gille]

I have a few stories to share and they all involve squirrels.

Was bowhunting squirrels a day after Christmas one year here in Illinois.  Walked down a fence line full of large oaks.  Walked under one of them and noticed a squirrel tail hanging down from a limb over my head.  I backed up a small hill and could just barely make out his head looking at me.  He's laying flat on the limb with just his head showing.  I figured I caught him out in the open and he just laid flat to hide like they sometimes do.  Anyway, I concentrated on his head and let an arrow go.  It was a perfect shot and took him right off the limb.  But I noticed he wasn't falling right.  Even when you head shoot them they usually fall with a little life to them.  He was just limp, which they usually don't go that limp immediately.  He hit the ground and never twitched.  I knew something wasn't right so I walked over and checked him out.  That's when I saw that something had eaten his belly out.  Just then I recalled the scream of a hawk earlier as I neared this spot.  I apparently spooked him off of his kill, and then took it from him.  I felt real bad.  Couldn't get the squirrel back up on the high limb but I did lay it on the fence hoping the hawk would find it after I left.  Best darn head shot I ever wasted on an already dead squirrel.  You know, not everyone is capable of sneaking within bow range of deceased squirrels!

I was in a stand at daybreak one morning when a squirrel came across the treetops and into my tree.  I turned into the tree, raised my bow to face up at him, and waited for him to come down.  He came down, saw me drawing, and turned to go back up.  The arrow caught him and went on through.  He ran up into the tree more.  I've taken this shot enough to know what happens next.  The arrow has to come back down, and when you shoot straight up, all you can do in a stand is await your fate, and I always shoot broadheads at small game.  I heard it come back down through the leaf canopy, and then it slammed into my stand just a couple inches from my right boot.  It fell to the ground and I was looking down at it feeling pretty proud that I dodged yet another dumb situation that I brought upon myself.  I was feeling good about my fortune when I heard something above me and remembered the squirrel.  I looked up just in time to see him free-falling right on me.  He hit me in the head and still had some life to him, although not much thank God!  I still can't believe I managed to not fall out of that stand that morning.

My five year old son and I were squirrel hunting last year.  A squirrel came out onto a limb above us, looked down at us, and started barking at us.  I shot straight up, and missed.  Again, I knew the arrow was coming back down so I grabbed my son, pushed him up against the tree, and covered his head and body with my body.  The arrow landed about 15 or so feet away so we were fine.  He pushed me off of him and said, "What are you doing?"  "Get off of me!"  I told him I was just checking him out for ticks.  I knew if he told his mommy what happened he'd never get to squirrel hunt with me again!  When we got home he told his mom we didn't "catch" any squirrels but that I did tackle him once to save him from a tick!  Yeah, I never fessed up to that one either.

One more squirrel story.  I found an old squirrel arrow of mine sticking in the ground one morning while bowhunting squirrels.  I pulled it out of the ground and it broke off behind the point somewhere which never came out of the ground.  The arrow was very warped, didn't have a point on it, didn't have feathers on it, and the nock had been chewed and melted beyond recognition.  I stuck it in the quiver to take home and throw away.  I was down to two arrows left that morning when a big fat squirrel came down an oak tree and stopped.  I missed him with my last two arrows.  Not worried, he came closer, grabbed a nut out of a fork in the tree, sat down and started cutting it.  I never  hesitated to reach for that pointless, featherless, short, and crooked shaft.  I managed to get it nocked, sort of, drew it half way back, and let it go.  I didn't see it hit the squirrel but I knew it did.  He fell out of the tree and I went to look for him.  I finally found him trying to hide under a log with only his belly and rear end exposed.  I knew it was a real bad idea to step on that end of a very alive squirrel, but I just couldn't get at his head and was out of arrows anyway.  I stomped down on his rear end with my boot and all hell broke loose.  He yanked his head out from under that log and immediately turned on my boot, attacking it with his teeth and front claws.  He ended up loosing the fight, but had I let up pressure on him just a bit, I believe he would have charged straight up my leg to invade and conquer the land of my family owned jewels!

I love bowhunting squirrels.

Jerry Gille

[Kota]

My hunt took place about 8 years ago near my home in northern Michigan. I was still hunting a side ridge one afternoon. I came to a trail that came down from the pine stand on top, and led to the edge of a big beaver pond. The wind was right, and there was a balsam right near the trail that I could hide under, after cutting a couple limbs. I backed up under the little tree and made myself comfortable to wait out the daylight. About an hour later, a nice forkhorn came out of the pines, feeding as he went, but not on the trail. I was ready for the shot if one came, arrow on the bow. well, the little buck kept working along the top of the ridge until he was too far to the right and too close to move on. I knew he would catch my wind soon, and the jig would be up so I just waited to see how close he would get before he blew out of there. He kept coming until he was close enough I could hear him breathing and munching as he fed. When he got around to the other side of the tree from me, he caught my scent. Instead of running in the oposite direction, he jumped through the side of the tree,     kicking me in the leg with his front feet, and knocking my bow out of my hand    . He then ran about 40 yards out and looked back  :p   at the strange animal rolling around on the ground in pain, and laughing. Broke my arrow and knocked a good size chunk of hide off my left shin.  

"Aim Small, Miss Small" Kota >>>>-----> jsloan@voyager.net

[Dr. Ed Ashby]

Jerry, I agree.  Squirrels seem to be the 'leading animal' in this thread'.

Ed

[Biff]

Back in the middle 50's, I was shooting a "field coarse" with two older fellows,(I was about 13)and George was the club president, and also the best shot in the club, and the best hunter! We had a special trophy that if anyone hit 14 bulls eye's on one of the halve's (14 targets 4 arrows at each target), they would win this trophy,(a real beauty!). On the last target, George needed 2 bulls. The other fellow Fred, hadn't said a word as George started to shoot. 4 arrows at each target, his first skimmed the edge of the bull,(a 30 yd shot at an 18' face.) His second missed, 3-4 inches out. Still needing 1 more bull, his 3rd arrow missed again by 1-2 inches! As he drew his last arrow, Fred cut the loudest gas bomb I ever heard, and immediatly all 3 of us roared with laughter, the tension gone, the odor killing us!! A bunch of kids acting like that! George's last arrow didn't even hit the hay bail! He never said a word!