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Author Topic: Best huntin lie  (Read 926 times)

Offline John McCreary

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #20 on: October 20, 2003, 09:41:00 PM »
Well there was the time ,back in '88 when my brother "Harpo" went deer hunting with me. Being a generous sort I lent my novice sibling a new Big Horn Recurve for the hunt , then preceded to put him in my best tree stand. We had decided to meet back at the truck at 10 AM. Being punctual by nature,I was there at the Chevy drinking a cup of java when I saw my younger brother hobblin' back carrying my Big Horn in two pieces. "Seen any deer?" I asked. "Well" said Harpo "I did have a nice 10 pointer come by at 8. I coulda swore I put an arrow through his heart but he runned off." Brother is not as educated as me so he uses terms like "runned off". Any ways I asks, "Was there a blood trail?" "Yup" says he "...and I follered it for nearly a mile till he comed full circle!" "Comed" I loves the hillbilly ways he talks. "Sure enough he comed back to the tree stand and there he was sitting in the stand drinkin' my beer and smokin' my cigarettes!" "Well he weren't to happy 'bout that arrow I stuck in him. Sure as shoot he walks over to me, takes your new bow and , well snaps it in two then he puts it in a place that weren't intended for a bow to be! Gosh honest thats hows your new bow got busted." Needless to say I didn't want the bow back...
"When I grow up I want to be Ron LaClair...the man has waaay too much fun."

Offline Matt E

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #21 on: October 21, 2003, 06:54:00 AM »
I heard of a man that was selling some deer hounds. These hound were known far and wide as being top notch dogs.The buyer went with the man to try the dogs out and sure enough they jumped a deer and were off to the races. The dogs were snging in unison as they pushed the animal.All of a sudden they quit, not making a sound. The buyer said that the dogs lost the trail. The owner answered with only one word,"listen" and the dogs started barking again.When asked why the dogs quit for a few minutes, the owner said "they were runing across posted land".

Offline Mike Brockner

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #22 on: October 21, 2003, 07:05:00 AM »
One day up in the hills of eastern Kentucky, a guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black Labrador just sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the dog replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered this gift pretty young, and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.

“The jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger. I wanted to settle
down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m
just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The dog’s owner says “Ten dollars.”

The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“He’s a liar. He didn’t do none of that stuff.”

  :thumbsup:

Offline Hal Hartness

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #23 on: October 21, 2003, 10:07:00 AM »
well since Irish had another birthday I'll tell a true story on him!
last weekin the boy wenta huntin with Mike and clint. Well after a day of hog runnin the three sat down fer a break and begain to talk a bit. Irish looks down and picked up a little tree frog.
As he was lookin it over the thing started talkin to i'm. Oh, frogy said  she was really a beautiful women with the bay watch thing going on! if you will just kiss me i will turn back into
that looker again and i will serve you all my life. I will do anything you wish. My life will be to serve only you. At that point he put the frog in his shirt pocket. His huntin buddy look stun and yelled, didn't you hear that. Irish just looked sad and said at my age I'd rather have a talkin frog!!!  Happy Birthday Mel

Offline Naked in NH

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #24 on: October 21, 2003, 10:09:00 AM »
The shot was right on, then there musta been a sudden gust of gravity or something.
-pablo
making shavings in the 603

Offline Mark Normand

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #25 on: October 21, 2003, 12:36:00 PM »
ok, many years ago, statue of limitations have expired.

My lifelong school buddy (who is somewhat scared of the dark) shoots squirrel with shotgun, hangs up in tree fork. Owl immediately flies over and snatches it, buddy immediately fires upon owl, both critters fall into heavy brush. Wounded owl climbs up on log, stares at him, he shot again, 30yards. Somewhat shaky he creeps over and retrieves squirrel, owl still looking at him from nearby. 20 yards walking away, something hits him square in the back, knocks him forward and down.
Other buddy meets up with him later at trailhead, "man what happened to you, you're white as a sheet?"  "and what was that yell I heard?"  1st guy didn't realize he yelled, swears to this day the owl hit him in the back, while walking away. Needless to say his stock dropped pretty low at the camp. To this day he swears its all true, he's not one to make up stuff like this.
Then a few days later he talks about a solid white armadillo he saw, dead serious. yikes, well maybe but...  :bigsmyl:
Stalker ILF recurve
Dakota II longbow

Offline bayoulongbowman

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #26 on: October 21, 2003, 02:28:00 PM »
Mark , Whats in yalls cajun sauce ?..LOL...Sunday in my back yard I watched a Hawk crash into this tree , what a sound!..and grabbed a squrriel ...I saw a neighbors kitten taken once ....now the white Armo...lol...never seen one ....mark#78
"If you're living your life as if there is no GOD, you had  better be right!"

Offline Naked in NH

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #27 on: October 21, 2003, 03:52:00 PM »
"White armadillo" is a euphemism.
-pablo
making shavings in the 603

Offline Marvin M.

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #28 on: October 21, 2003, 04:36:00 PM »
City fellow came out to try out a squirrel dog.  Supposed to be the best in the world.  

The old farmer takes him out and pretty soon the dog trees.  When the farmer and the city guy get there the dog is standing at the foot of the tree with one leg up, looking up the tree (no, not that).  City guy says "what does that mean?"  Farmer says, "He's telling us that there is one squirrel up the tree."  Sure enough, there is only one squirrel up the tree, and they call the dog and move on.  

A little later, the dog trees again.  When they get there, the dog is standing on his rear legs with both front legs pointing into the tree.  City guy says "What does that mean?"  Farmer replies "There are two squirrels in that tree".  When they check there are two squirrels.  The city guy is amazed and properly impressed by this dog.  

They call the dog and move on.  The dog trees the third time.  When they get there the dog is laying on his back with three legs pointing into the tree and his tail stuck where the sun don't shine.  The city guy is incredulous at this turn of events, and asks the farmer what this could possibly mean.  The farmers says that "there were three squirrels in this tree, but they went in a hole!!!"

   :bigsmyl:

Offline **DONOTDELETE**

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Re: Best huntin lie
« Reply #29 on: October 21, 2003, 04:54:00 PM »
Well, this didn't happen to me, but a friend of mine said he heard it from a fellow whose brother it had happened to ... can't get much closer to the truth than that.

Bowhunter took a shot at a squirrel in a tree. The bow didn't have beaver balls on it (no beaver would voluntarily contribute), so the noise of the string spooked the squirrel, who jumped up in the air. The aroow passed under the little fellow, glanced off a knothole and sped skyward. A sparrow saw the arrow coming, so veered away. The movement of the sparrow drew the attention of a hawk, who dived at the sparrow, caught it, and crushed it in his talons. Meanwhile, the arrow, spent, dropped point-first toward the ground. It speared the hawk, who dropped the sparrow. The sparrow fluttered downward and struck a gun-hunter on the head. The gun-hunter, not knowing what had happened, reflexively tightened his finger on the trigger and discharged a round. The bullet broke the branch the squirrel (remember the squirrel?) was sitting on. The squirrel fell and impaled itself on the tip of the bowhunter's bow. That night, over the remains of squirrel stew, the bowhunter sat back and thought: "You know, there's nothing better than eating something you killed yourself."  :D

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